It cost much

I've never thought that knowing everything would have a cost...

Right now I am wondering how can my friends enjoyed gossiping other people while in the same time they hold people's secrets. They were whispering each other and I was like forbidden to know what they were talking about. Seems unfair.
I keep telling myself that maybe I am not a really good secret keeper. But I also realise that people who were gossiping is no different with a person who can't keep secrets. Gossips spread, they should know that. So why do they always suddenly be quiet when I was around? Funny cause sooner or later, I will also know it through gossips. Are there any girl who hates other girls whispering and gossiping each other like I do? I doubt it.

Back to my problem, I was having a dilemma. I hold the secret of my two best friend. I was shocked when I realise they both didn't know each other's secret. It was going to be a chaos if they do. They two must not know. But I don't know how to prevent them telling their secrets without realising something wrong..

At first I was just too curious. Then I force my friend (A) to tell her secret. Long after that, a few weeks later, I give the same question to my other friend (B). I never know that she will tell me the whole story. And I regret it cause it gives me dilemma.

So I'm asking again, how can girls love to gossip while the real thing is, they were holding secrets. I would better not knowing my friends secret than have to face the dilemma. 

Red ♥

Red
by: Taylor Swift

Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street
Faster than the wind
Passionate as sin, ended so suddenly
Loving him is like trying to change your mind
Once you’re already flying through the free fall
Like the colors in autumn
So bright just before they lose it all

Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Loving him was red

Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you

Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song

Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there’s no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong

Losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
But loving him was red
Oh red burning red

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes
Tell myself it’s time now, gotta let go
But moving on from him is impossible
When I still see it all in my head

Burning red!
Darling it was red!

Oh, losing him was blue like I’d never known
Missing him was dark grey all alone
Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you've never met
Cause loving him was red yeah yeah red
We're burning red

And that's why he's spinning round in my head
Comes back to me burning red
Yeah yeah

Cause love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

#curcol

Jujur, sebenernya gw udah capek dan muak menjadi pihak yang "lemah". Gw nggak merasa ada salah, tapi selalu menjadi pihak yang disalahkan. Misalnya aja hari ini gw gak masuk sekolah karena sakit (gw ngetik ini aja udah lemess..) dan kebetulan hari ini ada presentasi kelompok. Naskah presentasi ada di gw, trus mereka panik dan ngotot pengin maju walaupun tanpa gw. Gini yah sebelumnya gw kasih tau dulu. Gw yang buat slide powerpointnya! Lu seenak jidat aja pengin presentasi tanpa gw. Smsin gw minta naskah dan mengancam akan maju tanpa gw. Gw kan gak masuk juga karena sakit, gak bisa gitu yah smsin gw cepet sembuh, gws, atau hal2 simple yang bikin gw tenang. Bener2 bukan teman sejati.
Satu kalimat yang bikin gw muak, "Yah, lu kan bisa begini laaah, kenapa lu gak begitu??" dan mereka seolah-olah menginterogasi gw. Semua tindakan gw, perkataan gw, pasti bakal digosipin dan gw makin dijauhin. Dijauhin dalam artian, kalau mereka ngegosip gw gak diajakin, kalau gw tanya gw dibilang kepo. Annoying and irritating, huh? Gw cuma dimanfaatin di pelajaran sekolah aja, di luar sekolah gw gak dianggap teman. Emang sih kadang2 gak separah ini, kadang mereka baik2 juga. Tapi mereka gak akan bisa gw anggap sebagai sahabat gw, kalau gw nya aja gak dianggap sebagai teman mereka.

need a gws,

Tasya